Freaking Me OUT!

Lately, I have been thinking about my story quite a bit, and about how I have changed in the past few years to become a more generic version of myself, in order to me more accepted, even among Christian circles. I have been thinking about writing my story- I think its part of the whole trust and openess thing that God has been hitting me over the head with lately- and tonight I was casually looking over the web when I came across a writing contest from Zondervan. Its a non-fiction writing contest and the winner would be published and receive a prize and all of the usual fanfare, but what really excites me is that I'd be published and that I might be able to impact people and have them learn from my experiences. Now I'm not saying that this is a sign that God is going to have me win, and that this will make me rich and famous or anything, but I certainly see it as a sign that I should at least try. I also think that it will help me to get it out there and put it on paper- but thats really scary because there have been certain things that I have kept hidden, even from myself. So often I've used my blog as a prayer request message board, but this one is really scary for me folks, and even tonight when I was at my parents house a lot of it was coming back in a way that freaked me out, and in a way that is something that I will have to continually pray against if I am going to do this. I know that I probably sound over-dramatic here, but I am being dead serious about my feelings about this, and about guarding myself.