Go West Young Woman
Okay, so I'm not necessarily planning on moving out tomorrow and loading up my covered wagon to head out to nebraska or something, but lately I've been feeling kind of restless- emotionally and spiritually. I feel like even though i moved ut of my house and went back to school, that i've let myself get into too much of a rut. I have to question if I'm living the life that I'm in because I like it, or because its easy. And once again i've loosely quoted "You've Got Mail." A very useful quote movie- not that anyone really emails like that on a daily basis. So, back to my point. I guess I just feel like tehres something that I'm missing, something that I'm not getting done. Now the question is, how do I go about doing what I haven't been getting done? I guess its a hard question to answer, and really- id ont think that my life or my friends are bad or anything, its just not all there. And I dont think that this is just me wanting to sow my wild oats or something, I really feel like God is urging me in this way. Lately, Hes been teaching me a lot of stuff about the way that I let safety and the security of the things that I've aquired, and the place that ive made for myslf lull me into complacency on things that I really shouldn't be complacent about. My life has made me fearful of new things, and I used to be so bold, so on fire, so eager for life. Now just feel stuck here by all of my posessions and by wmu. I haven't signed up for any classes next semester, and I really don't think that I will. I know that it is the safe and sensible thing to do, to stay in school and earn my degree, but for once, I can't be safe. If i enter into classes now, all that I will fel is traped till june and then i wont give it my all, which would be foolish because of all the money my fam. would be investing and if i got crappy grades then it would affect me if i ever did want to get my degree. Not that I could really see myself doing that at wmu. I just don't know that this all means though, and I have no idea of where this new boldness will take me. I'm not going to join the army, or a cult, or become a pirate, or something, but please please please pray for me if you are reading this. I know that I ask that a lot and i know that i amthe worst at not doing that for other people, but i really feel like God is calling me to change some things in my life in an awesome way, and it really is freaking me out!