2 Mondays

Ug- This is turning into one of those weeks- and its only tuesday. Monday was one of those mondays, where you aren't rested from the weekend, and are definetly not ready for anoter week to begin. and today was worse. For some reason, i was just super frustrated with the kids today- well, it was lunchtime and bridget and i had 22 all alone because of scheduling mix-ups, and they were all just cranky anyway because of the stupid snow! To qoute on of my favorite movies, completely out of context and probably sinfully- "what was God thinking?" (any guesses where its from?) Its almost may! Oh well, I kind of knew that we'd have at least one more day of the white stuff, but i just didnt want it to be today. Tomorrow is supposed to be 70. Go figure. I think that I just need to force myself to take some alone time every day, or every other day, cause I can really tell the difference- I mean, I love being around my friends and roomies, and fake, other building roomies, but since before last wednesday i have been literally either going and interacting with people or dead asleep. ang was saying awhile ago that there are 2 different types of people- those that get their energy from interacting with people, and those that get their energy from being alone. I am most definetly the second. and yet if i have too much than i crave the togetherness, but if i have quiet time then at least i don't feellike i'm going to squirt someone furiously with the bleach water (our table cleaner) if another parent comes up to me to complain about something. at least something outrageous. OKay, I feel like complaining now, so i'll shut up beofre I hurt myself.


Quote
"Meow?"
Daisy, the cat looking curiously at her paw, and wondering why she can't scratch anything now. (pets are so therapudic- and no, i'm not turning into a crazy cat woman.)

Ria
I was talking to my friend maria online this morning and we were talking about our lives, responsibilities, marriage and all of that, and it made me think of this one day after we graduated from high school and we drove by northern, where she graduated from and she says, "just think of it care, we're alumni!" and that felt so monumental and important- and it was, but we imagined ourselves so adult, and that wed never have to worry about curfews and part time jobs, and that the rest of our lives would be a piece of cake. and now its 4 years later. Has my post high school life turned out how i planned it would? No! Do i think that God had a better plan for me than I could have planned out? Yes! That should give me peace about the future at times like right now when i have important decisions to make and things in my future that are unclear, but does it. Not always. I can see my life as a puzzle and i can see some of the pieces coming in to place, but others aren't even flipped over yet, and im sure that some of the pieces wont be put into place until im old and retired or The Second Coming happens. Okay- i have a truly random thought to hurt your brain- If Jesus returns tomorrow, are all the areas where we saw his leading us in the future- as in my uncle oing to the mission field in years, was that God's leading even though it couldn't happen? or is it just us? Or would God still give us desires and leadings even if He is planning on the Big Hello coming soon? Errrrrrrg- that is the sound of my puny temporal brain trying to comprehend things that are infinite.


Quote
"Birds can walk, and horses can swim, but you don't see them doing it for fun."
(I foget who said it- if i think of it later i'll edit this.)

writer's Block

Okay, a warning about the extreme length of the post following this one, I was suffering with wicked bad writers block today, and so when I got home and the thoughts started to flow (for those who don't know, I'm trying to be more diciplined with my writing, if I'm ever to actually be successful at this) I just had to let it all out.

Also, I am forced to admit that however much I protest against the message sent by many romantic movies- I still watch them, and however much I protest against the homogenization of fashion- i still buy it. I guess that means I'm a hypocrite- so there you go.

Sorry Lisa

I still think that Valentine's Day is from the devil- or if not from him, then at least largely used and corrupted by him. I do agree with your comment about romance movies being female porn. ( i won't do link to your blog and your comment cause it never works on my blog for some reason, but anyone with a brain is able to click on the link to your site and read it for themselves there) Anyways, I really do think that the Great Deceiver uses a lot of what God engineered in us to be a good think and has corrupted it for evil. I suppose its also part of the curse, but its easier to blame the devil. Think about Adam and Eve's interaction before the Fall. They were naked and were not ashamed. does that mean that they both had perfect, albeit belly-buttonless bodies? I don't think so, or at least not in the context that we think of perfection. They were not ashamed because they had a God breathed love for each other and did not judge each other by the standards that we do today. I mean obviously, they didn't have MTV or thongs, or anyone else to compare themselves to (can't exactly be jealous of what great legs a giraffe has) but even if they had, that wouldnt have mattered. But now, even in some of the best marriages, or the best single people that I know, body image still plays this amazing role, and influences us all, and gives us something to be ashamed of. Thats why God didn't create them and then automatically give them clothes right away. When you conceal, you have judged yourself against something and have been found lacking. So, I guess what I'm saying is, in a perfect world, we'd all be nudists :) Not really, but it does make me think about all of those movies that we force feed to our children- Cinderella, where she is only appealing to the Prince when shes in her pretty dress. did anyone else think how dumb the prince must be not to recognize her in a different dress- why did he need the shoe??! Did he think Der, that looks like her, but she was wearing white, so that can't be the same person?Or all of those teen movies where the girl is only noticed once she has had a makeover and looks like a homogenized old navy, plastic doll version of herself? and then the guy gives some pat line about how he likes her for who she really is and it wouldnt really matter to him how she looked? But then why wasn't he with her before? You might think, whats wrong with looking like everyone else- If you blend in you aren't picked on or laughed at and ridiculed. But so often in life, I feel like we're walking around hiding the unique and special characteristics that God gave us, and then we feel a sense of isolation and loneliness because no one is seeing these same character traits.