To Hell and Back- on a Friday afternoon

Stacie and I have both been stressed with jobs, relationships, living situations, etc. but neither of us had money or time for a real vacation, so we took a mini one last Friday. We decided to go to Hell. Hell, Michigan is about 2 hours from here, and rather significantly, the road to Hell goes right past Jackson Prison. Hell itself is tiny and we only spent time thei rto look in the gift shop and buy a t-shirt. I bought one that said "Hell Michigan Volunteer Fire Dpeartment" and looked remarkably like my father's uniform shirt (in fact, my mom didn't even notice the diff. until I mentioned it.) Stacie also bought a shirt and then we began a relaxed drive home. My favorite town along the way is Stockbridge. Its a quaint small town, but not in an obscene and overdone way, like Frankenmuth- home of tinny music piped into the streets and Bronner's Christmas Store, filled with acres of ornaments, tinsel, and life size inflatable reindeer. Stockbridge has the prerequisite number of craft stores, but it also still has in its core businesses such as insurance, dentist's office, and a local cafe that Stacie and I decided to try out. Down the road, attached to a gas station is the Dixie Cafe, but we opted for the smaller, more homey Barbie's Country Cafe. Its reasonable prices and John Deere tractor decorations attract mostly local farmers and people who work in nearby offices. We were teh objects of some speculative looks when we entered and sat down, and were the only patrons not on a first name basis with Barbie and the waitress Darlene. As we ate our lunches and an order of biscuits and gravy, Darlene sat in the back rolling up napkins and silverware, all the while chain-smoking with tar stained fingers.

Our trip was just what we needed to blow the stink of Kalamazoo off of us, and even despite a looooooooong traffic jam on the highway (a tailer had come loose from a truck and crashed to the side of the road) I came back to Kazoo relaxed and refreshed for more packing and moving. I had been to Hell once before with Val, and my fond memories were renewed by this trip.

Obvious

So, lately I've noticed something that amuses me. Obvious people. I guess more specifically obvious people in romantic situations. Such as a Sunday a couple weeks ago- the 14th. Judy F., one of the moms of our church, and our prayer coordinator, has always told me about her younger son, Matt. Her older son, Brian is our worship director and she always tells me that she has 2 sons and that Matt is about my age, and finally he visited church. I saw him and thought he looked very familiar, and then when she went to stand beside him it became clear to me. And sure enough, she shepherds him right over to me and introduces me. Stacie was stnding right next to me and later laughed at how she wasn't give the same introduction. I mentioned this to Brian a couple Sundays later when a group of us (Stacie, Jane, Brian, Angel, Scott and I) were at lunch after church at Burdicks. His response, "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me; subtlety is not one of my moms strong points." Thanks for the compliment though Judy. I appreciate it that you'd be cool with me for a daughter. I'm sad because I won't get to see her as much because I have a class Tuesday night, which is the normal night for prayer meeting at church.

Then a week or so ago my small group went to Putters for a round of Mini-golf (yeah I know, we're living dangerous, but there were kids with us) and the golf ball and concession stand guy was liking the Carrie a little bit. He so obvious in that way that only cocky high school boys can manage. In them I can excuse it; when adult males are that big of peeps, it just disgusts me. Melissa said I should have asked him what year he was and see if he answered "sophomore" or anything. I told her it was very likely he could have been a sophomore- as in 1oth grade!

Add to this BJ and his rather obvious interest, and its been an interesting couple weeks for me. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or offended, but it has been interesting.

The Lake

The whole time that I have been writing the below, I have been glancing out at the lake through the big picture window in my parent's living room. I am blessed to be able to live here again, and I have missed being able to look at the lak ein all of its moods.

Daisy is starting ot get more comfortable too. She definetly remembered that she isn't a fan of ceiling fans, but is overcoming that because of the allure of sniffing so many new things.

Jane's Back!

Jane recently came back from Australia (sense my jealousy) and is tan and cute, and on Friday night we celebrated her 21st. birthday by going out to Friday's and Mandalay Bay. We were supposed to be going to the new Jimmy Buffet restaurant- Cheesburger in Paradise, but it had over an hour wait, and they don't take reservations. We had a great time at Friday's and they tied baloons all over her, including her hair. She looked like an combination of Pippi Longstocking and a Muppet with her hair dangling high above her head and bobbing with every movement. Mandalay Bay was nice, and the piano players were amazing, and Jane seemed to enjoy all of her drinks. (I had a couple Jack and Coke's at Friday's but I decided to save my money at Mandalay and I had to move the next day)
I always feel rather absurd being in places like that though. There are people there just having a nice time and listening to the music, but then there are the others. The chicks in their skimpy little outfits spilling their giant mugs of beer as they dance in a manner that makes one look for teh missing poles. It makes me so sad when my fellow women have so little self respect, for both themselves, and for the men around them (and some females too.) You are worth more!! You have greater value than you are giving yourself credit for!! I'm just so sick and tired of people not living up to their potential, or people who give into the viewpoint that others have told them they are. I suppose I shouldn't just get mad at the women, I should dole out my wrath unto the men who have treated these women as objects, and onto the mothers, friends, and media who have more heralded the ass of J Lo than they have the great women poets, authors and scientists. And I am the pot calling the kettle black here. It is so easy to listen to what other people say about us, and hard to stand up for yourself when you know that they are wrong.
I was watching Good Will Hunting yesterday and the theme of people living up to their potential really struck me again. I've watched this movie before, but for some reason it really struck me as if it were new this time. Maybe its because I feel like in certain respects I haven't been living up to my potential. I've been staying safenot trusting that God could have a gret plan for me, not believing that I can venture into the world without fear. This has been a hard time for me. Among many other things, I was offered a job at Mystic Lake YMCA Camp, which would be a dream job, but I wouldn't be able to finish up school if I took it. After a lot fo thought, worry and prayer, I decided not to take it. I'm also staying with my parents for a while until Stacie and I can theoretically get a place together, but for right now it has felt like I'm taking steps backward in every area of my life. I know that this is right, and I'll be able to save up money for my much-needed car repairs, and not have to work as much while I take some rather interesting classes this fall, but it is hard to focus on this at times. After this semester though, I have 5 classes that I need to take and then I will be DONE! A degree in Practical Writing with a minor in Philosophy. (If you'll believe this insanity, I'm already considering if I can get a good job near a college doing a little Grad. work)

My classes are :

Earth Studies- which I have to take for a lab science, but should be interesting.

Philosophy of Public Affairs- which should moreso be called Social Policy Ethics and begins in Chapter 1 with a discussion of abortion. This should be a really interesting class, but also one where I know I will have conflict. I just need to be sure that I have intelligent comments to make- I hate it when people have a perspective on an issue, but no idea why they are supporting that side.

Beginning Greek- I've wanted to take Greek for a long time, both for Biblical reasons, and because (rather dorkily) I love the writings of Mary Stewart, which often feature Greek.


Statistics and Data Analysis- I needed a math class, and I was very excited that this fit in with my schedule, because this will probably be useful for writing things that require research, and those of you who know me well know that I will randomly create statistics about things that are my opinion, such as "That is only about 20% of the issue," or "I'm 95% sure that was what was said."

Quote:
"Could someone be angry with you? MAybe down at AA?"
"Harry, we're alcoholics. We're genrally satisfied just to hurt ourselves."

Where the Heart Is

"I love you, but don't tell anyone."

I just saw an article that said that there is a new genre/company that is making greeting cards specifically for extramarital affairs. The creator feels that 60 percent of mena nd 40 percent of women have been involved in an extramarital affair and that they deserve a chance to express their feelings. What a sorry time that we live in where this is a feasible business venture? Its even sadder that someone could recieve one of these cards and feel greatful and as though this is something loving and thoughtful. Affairs are never about love, it is about the need for dominance, or the search for adventure that you may feel is lost in the bonds of marriage.
Its also very depressing to see the supposed statistic that 60 percent of men will have an affair. If this is true (which I doubt) then all of my friends and I would do better to follow Scriptural advice and stay unmarried.

Quote from the article at: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8973962/

"Gallagher hit upon the idea a couple of years ago. Like most couples, she and her husband had friends whose marriages had been affected by extramarital affairs, with all their attendant “conflict and emotional intensity,” she said in an interview.

Secret Lover Collection
The Secret Lover Collection debuted to enormous curiosity at a national trade show this year. The Greeting Card Association says there’s nothing else like it.
“I’m thinking, ‘So how do these people communicate? It’s a secret love affair,’” Gallagher said. “So I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, what better can you do than give someone your sentiments in a greeting card? How special is that?’” "


Unbelievable. Honestly, I think that she is betting on the unbelievability of the idea, and that she would recieve noteriety for the inappropriate nature of this business, and oddly gain customers through this, who would otherwise have never thought of sending a card to the person they were cheating with.

My Weird Friday Nght

So, today was the last day of summer program- the kids found the "buried treasure" we had beach day, I cleaned out the room somewhat (though there is a great deal more to do.)
Then, I was supposed to help a friend, Todd, who has bought a new house and is painting. I ended up not getting over there till almost everything was done, but then we went out to Water Street, which was really cool. We had truly amazing conversation both at the coffee house and later on that night. Our conversation mainly centered around the idea of conflict and forgiveness, a subject which we have been covering in our small group and that others have said that they recently had to deal with major conflict. I think that this is how Satan is attacking the River right now. Now that we are coming upon our first year anniversary, we are really starting develop a better sense of community, and so that is a prime area to create issues.
Todd, Cara, Stacie, Nate and I had a wonderful time at the coffee house, and then Nate, Stacie and decided to walk to the Arcadia Creek Festival Site. We played around in the fountain for a little while, and when that shut off we moved over to teh playground. I really admire Nate's listening skills (ouch- preschool word accidentally popped out) But he is a really good person who has the ability to speak into your situation without sounding preachy or hypocritical.
Stacie and I saw this even more so when we were approached by BJ, a very drunk man asking us for a light, as he clutched a dented and grimy Mountain Dew bottle containing a pint of somehing that was most assuredly NOT Mountain Dew. At first we had some really great conversation and he told us about his father being stabbed, and how he had been ripped off while trying to buy some weed earlier, and he made a few jokes about us being friends and that Stacie and I were cute, but nothing overly gross or innapropriate. Then, we went back to the fountain and rolled up the legs of our pants and played in the ribbons of water that shoot sporadically out of simple holes in the ground. BJ went to go to the bathroom and when he returned I noticed a distinct change in him. He came to where we were and fell/lay down on the ground for a few minutes, and then he came over to us and said "I smell some good shit over here." I said that I thought it was the restaurant nearby and Nate and Stacie both gave ideas, and then he turned to me and said, "No, I think its her." He said that he was trying to be polite ( didn't really suceed) "but I'm hot on her." He said several other odd things, and Nate finally said, "Now, you want to be careful that you don't make her feel uncomfortable." ( He already had) BJ then said, "Yeah well, we can be friends right?"
I hate it that as a woman our friendliness is often seen as something else, or that something could have happened if Stacie and I had been alone at the park. We talked to him for over an hour, and I hope that we made some impact. When we left, Nate was going ot give him a ride home, and they even had time and energy to help a guy whos truck had overheated. I know that he was harmless, but this odd night combined with the fact that the roomies are spending their first night in the new apartment so I am here all alone, has left me feeling rather defenseless and vulnerable. I hate it when Satan tries to ride the coattails of something that God is using for the positive to twist it around and warp it for his purposes. The old fears slipping back in so easily has always been a problem for me, probably because of the fine line between being safe and overly guarded. So, I came home tonight and turned on a few too many lights and now I'm sitting in the well-locked living room and watching "Stripes."

Quote:

BJ: That man ripped me off. I gave him money for weed, and he never came back.
Nate: Man, that stuff will mess you up. I smoked weed every day for ten years.
BJ: You can tell.

My new Pet Peeve

I have noticed a trend in several of my friends blogs, or more specifically- the comment section of my friends blogs, that disturbs me greatly. I have seen people who will comment only to promote their own blog or website, and I have also seen bold faced ads for online companies and pyramid schemes instead of a friendly greeting or a joking comment, as it is supposed to be. This is actual text from a friend's blog comment that I came across recently:

"St0ck For Your Review - FCPGCurrent ProfileFaceprint Global Solutions (FCPG) Current Price $0.15A U.S. based-company dedicated to the goal of bringing effective security solutions to the marketplace....Forward loking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as "projects", "foresee", "expects", "will", "anticipates","estimates", "believes", "understands" or that by statements indicatingcertain actions "may", "could", or "might" occur. Risk factors includegeneral economic and business conditions, the ability to acquire and develop specific projects, the ability to fund operations and changes in consumer and business consumption habits and other factors over which the company has little or no control. "

Yeah, nice comment there davidnelson1970.

I've also seen several blogs that are thinly veiled commercials, and the poster changes merely a few words each post and then gives a somewhat cordial comment on someone elses blog and a link to their own inofmercial.

I don't know what the path would be to stop this annoyance, and courts would doubtlessly support these people's freedom, but it is inconsiderate, and I cannot really imagine that this gives the advertised companies or organizations much money.

I found an article which briefly discusses this issue:
http://www.webpronews.com/news/ebusinessnews/wpn-45-20050606Marketersareturningtoblogsforonlineadspending.html

Purposefullness

Today I was feeling rather replacable at work- mainly because I'm not going to do After School Program next year, and it feels like a step back to just be in the daycare, though I know that I need to concentrate on the final semesters of school. I was walking down the daycare hall to get juice for the new School Age Teacher- Miss Mandy and I saw Tim in the bathroom or rather I heard him wailing. Miss Abby- one of the summer teachers- was trying to convince him to put on his extra pair of clothes. He had already had oe accident earlier, so all that he had left were some overalls. Miss Abby asked me to help her out since I know Tim so well. I asked him why he didn't want to put them on: "I just don't!" Is it because they are overalls? "Yes!" We took him to the extra clothes bin and let him pick out some extra shorts. Tim is 5, and I really don't blame him for not wanting to wear the overalls- they had been in his box for a long time and were a little juvenile for someone as grown up as he. Miss Abby also asked me to pick out some underwear for him since he wuld have to wear some of the daycare's, which were rather toddlerish.
Its not that Miss Abby was doing anything wrong, or that it was even a big deal, but it really brought to the light how much I really know, and how blessed I am to have developed close relationships with many of these kids, where I can see past the behavior and into the underlying reasons. God is good to use something like a child's tantrum to show us just how we fit into His plans, even when we can't see our own purpose. That doesn't mean that I am going to stay at the daycare forever, but I need to get over this restless spirit of mine. I need to follow the old adage, "Wherever you are, be all there."

Moving- AGAIN

Its so hard to believe that it was a year ago that I was writing about moving, and here I am again putting things in boxes and thinking about lugging them down the stairs. I've bought a TON of plastic bins so that when I'm staying with my parents things will be neat down in the basement. It is nice to have sturdy storage to put stuff in. Always before I had to worry about my boxes breaking as I carried them and spilling books, papers, old film canisters, socks etc. down the cement steps that wind their way around the edge of ou buiding.

Thanks Stacie-

Stacie knew that I was sad because it was the last week or school and because of some ther stuff and she sent me a wonderful card and some daisies!! I got all teary-eyed. I appreciate so much having a friend that takes time out of her way and who remembers things like the fact that daisies are my favorite flower.

My Brother and the ....

The night before our family reunion- at my cousin Eric's birthday party my brother told me about something that still freaks me out slightly when I go to bed. He woke up on Saturday morning and his ear felt a little odd and sounds were muffled. He got up and used a Q-tip on his ear and scrambled everything around in there, thinking that he had water or something in it. But then he totally lost hearing in just that one ear. He called my mom and dad and they advised him to go the doctor. He was told that there was some sort of blockage in there and the doctor decided to flush it out with a large syringe of water. They pushed a ton of water in there and it all came out in a rush and when my brother looked down and in the dish was a crumpled up spider! It must have crawled into his ear sometime during the night and he either killed it then or when he used the q-tip. I've heard stories about things like this happening, but I always thought it was an urban legend, or that it would only happen if you slept outside or if your home was horribly infested. Now I think about this when I go to bed. I hate spiders anyways, but the thought of one laying eggs in my head while i rest is still very disconcerting.

My Influence on Others

I think sometimes I take too small of a view on the way that my words and actions will influence others. I have been talking more lately about being brave and not letting my fears be the master of my life. I need to live my life NOW because it is the only one that I have, and I can't wait for someday. Since I've started doing this I've noticed an inordinate amount of bold- ballsy actions from my friends. People are speaking to guys they like, quitting their jobs, and going back to school. This is a qute from Greg that illustrates the power that I wield over all in my sphere of influence:
"Carrie then offered this wonderful piece of insight: "You don't tell others what to think or feel, you make them realize what they already feel." Wow. I realized that not only is that an amazing compliment, it is also one of my biggest objectives when talking to people. I think that this revelation may be what it takes to get me back into school and into a career of counseling. After every one of my friends and family have tried to get me back into school (I really appreciate it, honestly), it may be that this one insight turns everything around... huh..."

All hail Queen Carrie!!

Seriously though, this does show me the care that I- and everyone- need to take when it comes to advice that we give others, and even our life view that we show to those around us. It really is so true that our attitude needs to be "the same as Christ."

(Edited Later because I sound like an egomaniac)
I just have to say that I know that it isn't all about me. My friends are making some bold moves for themselves, not because of me.