Excitement

(This would be in bold, but I'm using someone else's comp and it won't let me use bold)

I'm really excited because I found out recently that The River is putting in a bid on a building to house our brand- spanking new church in- the building that we are trying to get is this old Latvian church, that has recently been home to the Threads Church. I don't know whats up with that church- if they are purchasing a new building or if the church is disbanding, so the situation could be one mingled with melancholy. Hopefully, if it is the case that they are no longer functioning as a church, I pray that the members find a new place that tehy can call home- be it The River or wherever.

The idea of us actually having a building is extremely exciting, but also rather intimidating, because it is so easy to talk about things in an ambiguous and future sense, but once they actually begin to happen, it becomes much more difficult. But, as I've said before, God has been teaching me about patience, and now that things are really happening, I'm learning about trust. And isn't it ironic how whatever you are dealing with in life just Happens to come into the Sunday sermon- don't you love it in a way, seeing God's hand moving in the everyday struggles of you life?

Frustration

May I just take a minute to say GRRRRRRR! Why is life so confusing at times? I wish God could just drop me a note and tell me how it all ends! I shouldnt complain- I always talk about how life is a puzzle, and I can see more of the picture than I used to, so that must mean that all of the pieces will eventually fit together. Its just so annoying when I'm trying to put together the part of the puzzle that is the plain blue sky. Okay, complaining complete.

Beyond Borders

Angie and I were going to walk to Subway tonight, but then- as usual- it decided to pour so Ang, Scott, Annie and I watched a movie instead. Its the one with Angelina Jolie where she is involved in aid in etheopia and other countries. It was good in the fact that starvation is a seldom seen topic in movies, especially romantic ones, and I'm sure that it raised at least some people's awarness of the suffering that goes on every day. However, it was reallllllly formulaic- we knew who was going to die, and what was going to happen in several places, and though it showed refugees and aid workers in three featured countries in different years, and though the workers were passionate about their work, you never really got to know any of the people they were helping. It simply showed them as the huddled masses, mindlessly following the directions of the workers. It would also have been more effective if they had gone into more of the reasons for the displacement of the people and the politics behind it, but that would probably have taken up way too much time and effort. Whatever. It was one of those movies that you walked away from feeling rather melancholy and somewhat depressed. Not as much as after watching AI, which shall ever live in my mind as the most depressing movie ever created.

Alias Finale

Speaking of predictable.... In the grand tradition fo each of its other seasons, it ended with a cliffhanger, but not as much as last year, which is good because otherwise I might have murdered jj abrams. It was entertaining, but rather predictable, from vaughn being attacked and ending up in the hospital (aren't people beginning to wonder if he's cursed or something?) to a kiss, after a certain someone was shot and on the ground thought to be dead and, surprise surprise, they pop up with a gun in their hand- duh! why does no one ever take the time to check and see if someone is really dead anymore- or at least kick the gun out of theier hand?!! Oh well, I'll still watch next year. I've told about ER and that I like watching it with Kortnie because she is so excited- or rather animated :) (one or two fo you will get that) about it. with Alias its Annie. she screams at the characters, she ooos over the romance, and moans when its over and we're left hanging. I lve her for that. Next year I'll miss havign our other two roomies watching ti with us, but we intend to get at least lisa watching ti with us- we must continue the roomate tradition. And if we can just get her to watch one or 2 episodes she'll be trapped, like so many of us. (I tried but that was pretty crappy ambigousness- sorry if anyone was going to record it and watch it later- i don't think thats anyone though)

Quote

The guy in the shoe store at the Mall: "Do I know you from somewhere?"
The other guy that worked there: "Yeah, I think we know you from somewhere- did you go to western?"
First guy: "Maybe the girl who works in Gloria Jeans?"
Second Guy: shakes his head.

Okay, I get this all of the time- who do I look like people? I really want to know. I'm insecure enough to hope its like some famous actress who's admired the world over, but in reality it probably is the girl who works in Gloria Jeans.

The Week From Hell

And in some respects, I mean that literally. You know how a while ago I was talking about how this last year has been all about patience, and I can already tell that this next one is about faith and trusting God and those around me. It seemed like this week was trying to break down any possible trace that I had of any of those three. Last Sunday, Ang was talking about how she wasn't looking forward to this week, and she couldn't have been more right. From being accused of being a horrible teacher for leaving a sprinkler on, to having to confront a parent about a possible instance of neglect, to tornados and storms of all sorts, I am just exhausted. and though I have been praying and seeking God's peace in these situations, I must admit that often this eludes me. I've been reading The Practice of the Presence Of God By brother Lawrence, and in it he talks about being as close to God in teh daily mundane chores of life as we are in our prayer time. He also talks about not dwelling upon our sins and lacking, but simply confessing and moving on with our daily walk. Both are good principles, but they are so far ont eh side of idealism, that I find myself skeptical, and almost resentful toward the Brother for placing out there this unreachable goal. I find myself thinking "thats all well and good for you, a monk, but I live in the real world- the messy world, the confusing world." What I really need is to be able to take some measure of insight from this book and incorporate it into my life and approach this goal over time, but for those of you who know me really well know that I am an all or nothing kind of person- when I step in, I do so with both feet. This can be valuable at times, but definetly has its issues. This week I've also been confronting other insecurities that are probably best not to go into in a public, online journal, but I'd just like to say thanks to you all who have given me that most valuable of gifts- fellowship.

Our Open House

We had our first Open House in the new school today, which was awesome to be able to have people in it, and see their faces as they walk through the halls- especially the kids, knowing that they will learn here, and play in the gym, and have a locker, like big kids. And the parents who have entrusted their kids to us in faith that eventaully we would have facilities to house them all, and all of the teachers who have so faithfully worked in conditions that have never been the best, to now see this abundance of space, this wealth of facilities, it is such a blessing. We were a little dissapointed with the turn out, but I think it wil be good training dfor future Open Houses. And really, we are going to have over 100 kids in the program next year as we stand right now, so we will be okay.

I've changed it again.

Okay, now anyone can comment on my blog- i don't think that anyone would put anything vulgar there- its not exactly on the main stretch of the web, and Lisa, Val and I need your help, we're trying to create a links area for her blog, but without sucess (I'm trying to im her info, but the IM automatically converts it from html. Ahh, the wonders of technology.

Did I Just Do Something Right?

Okay, so, because of what Kortnie said, I looked up how to add comments to my blog (mostly because I'm not entirely sure that anyone actually reads it) and after messing around for a while and being very careful not to totally ruin the whole thing, I think I have it figured out, or at least it looks like its supposed to look. I tried it out and it did say that my blog does not accept anonymous comments, but I don't care. I'm just in shock that I actually did something on this thing that doesn't need to be overhauled and fixed by someone else. So please, let me know if it actually does work, or if I'm just fooling myself.

Okay- May I just agree with others that Mark is the biggest slacker blogger in history!

In The Center of God's Will

We had our first real fellowship event as The River tonight. We met at one of the members house on Miner Lake and had a potluck and baptized 5 people in the lake. I was a little nervous, because I've gone to some fellowship events at other churches I've tried out when I was just getting to know people, and its always been really scary and intimidating and embarrassing for an introvert like me. But tonight just brought back to mind that this really is where God wants me to be, and that all of my time of waiting and praying and searching has brought me to this place, with these people, for a purpose. That's a welcome blessing, but its also really scary. I'm reminded of something from the sermon this week. Many people have said that the center of God's will is the safest place to be, but in many ways it can be the least safe, because that's where the devil will come in and try to knock the crap out of you. Okay, it wasn't really stated like that in the sermon, but that was the basic gist of it all. In general I'm trying to be more trusting and have more faith that God is leading me in my daily walk (as well as trusting and being more vulnerable with my friends) but that is achingly painful for a trust-phobic person like myself. I've made the mistake of letting people's betrayals of me in the past transmit over into my viewpoint of God. Bad Carrie- bad, bad Carrie.
I'm also happy today because I feel like I'm getting to know people there- even though Paul and Melissa weren't there, I didn't lack for people to talk to. I think in a way it was good for them to be sick- or playing hooky, depending on your interpretation, forced me out o my introvertedness. We were discussing how many people we could name who were from the River that we didn't know before we began meeting- and I could only do about 5. Shows my lacking, and I didn't really learn anyone new today, but I feel like I got to know the people better that I already knew. Also, the baptisms were great! Its great to see the power of God moving in such a visible way. I'm so glad that I had a great time, because this bitter, mean woman (im being serious when I describe her that way) who comes into the daycare occasionally to tell us what we were doing wrong came in to yell at me for having the sprinkler on in the hot time of the day, and it was getting the air conditioner wet- oh my! I had to restrain myself from yelling at her "The thing is outside all WINTER! I think it can survive the sprinkler getting a little wet if it can survive snow and rain storms!!!" I think the hardest thing to take is that she has absolutely NO role in the management of the daycare, the facilities of the church, or any ability to discuss things in a rational manner- she goes right to angry accusations. Thankfully, I restrained myself (there was still a child in the daycare) and through prayer, loud music, and driving slightly faster than usual I arrived with a positive attitude. Isn't it amazing how you can be going along in a perfectly normal day, excited about something and then the devil (or our own sinful spirits) will lay something in our paths that derails us from what we are pursuing? And it can take only one thing to bump us off when 20 positive things may have happened that day.


Quote
I had just spilled juice on Juliana's new outfit, and while I was cleaning it up, I jokingly said, "Sorry Juliana, no ones perfect."
Natalie: "I am."
Me: "Excuse me? Did you say that you are perfect?"
Nat: "yes."
Me: "but honey, we all make bad choices, we all make mistakes. Only Jesus was perfect, not us."
Nat: "I am."

I don't think I ever really got her to understand the concept of her own imperfections. I'll have to work on that- a mental note for next year's Jesus Time- make sure the kids know they aren't perfect.

Homicidal Deer, Toeless Turtles and Mating Peacocks- Oh MY!

Ah, the drama of my life. Its been a busy week. I've decided that I should at least try to blog once a week or else the drama gets backed up in my brain and then, when I do blog, it all rushes out as if a dam has broken.

So, Annie and I were on a walk the other day- I think it was wednesday- doesn't really matter, but we were on our way back and had gotten to the bottom of the last hill before our apartments. My fellow Winchellians know that deer often cross here, and that it is usually a beautiful and peaceful sight. However, we must've gotten some deer that hadn't got the memo about the fence on the side of the road that they were crossing toward. Annie and I had paused to let them by, and then innocently continued on- annie on the phone with brenda. Suddenly, I hear a rustling behind us, and turn to see that one of the deer has fled back in the direction it had come from. We can hear the rest of the deer all rustling in the trees and apparently trying to figure out the whole fence thing, but we are already in the middle of the path they would take. I yell, "annie- they're coming back!" and she shouts something to brenda about the killer deer and we run up the hill. Finally, we thought we were far enough past where they would get us, when I turn, with that feeling that you're being observed. I look over, and two deer are staring at us, with accusatory looks on their faces, as if we had purposely erected the fence to block them. This time, we walk slowly forward until we are once again surrounded by the buildings. You'd think I could safely say that only annie and I would ever have this experience, but no, one of my high school friends was hit by a deer in a cross country race- she always said she would've won if not for the stupid deer.

As far as the toeless turtle goes, that story is much less exciting. I had come home from the Zoo Trip- our annual end of the year event at CFK/SMLS, when my mom called up to say that she had a turtle for me. she knows that I and Lisa were both wanting a turtle for next year. (its a teacher thing) They are rather fun and easy to care for pets, and my mother used to find them on walks around our lake and bring them home in her shirt pockets, when the babies walked out onto the road instead of into the lake. This turtle is a little bigger, about 4 inches. My mom rescued Stumpy as he was crossing the road and immediatley thought of me. When she got him out for me, we noticed that he had no front feet. My mom thought that he'd been run over by a car, and worried that he'd die, but I inspected him more closely, and it looks like a bird or some other animal nibbled on him a while ago- because there's no blood. Also, it would've squashed his head, if a car had managed to get both front feet. Hes now in a tank- entertaining Daisy, who is being kept out of Stumpy's tank by a lid and several books. He seems to be okay, not really in any pain or anything, and I think that a special needs pet will be a wonderful addition to our school.

As I said earlier, saturday was our annual zoo trip. It was once again dreary and colder than I'd like, but i know i would've managed to complain about the heat if it was bright and sunny, so i should just shut up and be thankful that it didn't rain and that the coolness kept the big crowds away. I spent most of the day with annie, philip (one of the the 1st graders) paul and melissa, angie and john, and angie's cousins. Her girl cousins flirted with paul and john (but angie and melissa got in a little hand holding from their guys :)) Philip is getting so mature and is very smart about animals, mostly because his family has had various animals for hsi whole life. A couple of years ago the giant tortises were mating when we were there (I won't get into the drama of that event) but this year they seemed content to just to sit and chew on their food. some peacocks were celebrating the spring though- and philip took pictures to remeber it by. Maybe we should plan the trip for the fall instead- but we usually go to the apple orchard then.

ER Finale

I almost forgot to mention- this week was the er season finale and kortnie, scott and I watched it over here, because of the cable, and we managed to surprise kort with a cake and a card to say thanks for all the medical lessons, as well as Happy Birthday. It was a good finale and Kort was her usual intense self about the show- always funny. I certainly don't care as much about the show as she does, but I think I get more enjoyment out of it, because I can watch her fret in the intense parts instead of being her, fretting.

The River

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I'm really excited because we have the River small groups set up, and i am in the fellowship/ greeting one and the children's/ youth ministry. Very exciting, and we had our commisioning service today- so I had to go up in front- which stinks for an introvert, but at least other people were up there too.

That last post was messed up.

Okay, I know that I stated this, but i was writing my last entry on kara's computer whixh has less than stellar capabilites- it really makes me realize how far computers have come, and annie's is only a couple of year's newer. So all misspellings in that post are to blamed upon kara- since none of you know her- or at least most of you.

Okay, I'm writing on my roomie Kara's computer instead of on annie's as I usually do, so forgive me if this looks funky- for some reason the template is all messed up- or maybe its just that i've been slcking for so long that they've changed something or i just didn't know that the site is all messed up.
Anyways, I should be in bed, but here I am once again blogging into the night. at least its not a preschool night this time. Its so hard to believe that I have only 5 more classes with this preschool class. They really have been sooooo great, and I am spoiled by their love and affection. I was talking to angie tonight on our crazy walk in the rain that this is the first year where I am looking forward to the fall more than I am the summer. Usually, I'm all geeked up because of my birthday (July 24) and the nice weather and teh break from the usual scedule. But this year, it is different. My summer schedule at work is going to be kind of funky- so whats new- and I probably will be lacking funds for a vacation, but thats not the real reason that I'm looking forward to the fall more. I have so many exciting things coming up in september. I'm going to be moving to Drake's Pond with annie and the lovely ladies from the other building, I'll be starting up classes, and preschool will begin again, but I'll be in all 4 classes. I'm sure that that will be pretty crazy to get used to at first, but I will actually be going and coming from work at the same time each day, or almost- on wed. and fri. I'll be handing over the After school Program to Jess and I'll be out of there at 3:45! I won't know what do with myself and all of that free time. I'm sure I'll come up with something. :) But this is good- usually I dread the coming of cooler weather, but this year I've been blessed with so much to look forward to. Okay, my brain and this computer are not working together right now. I must leave before I hurt myself.

Quote:

Miss Carrie: "What are you doing Joel?"

Joel: "I'm smelling the clock."

MC: "What does the clock smell like?"

J: "Potatoes. No, flowers."